Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

Two women are seated across from each other on the train. One has a long object in a soft-sided container. First woman: Is that a bassoon?
Second woman: No. It’s a sword. –C Train

A cheap Jew? No…

Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at. – Midtown

And frankly, she makes a good case

20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you. –F train

Our New Motto

Perceptive woman: Anytime you overhear people, if you only hear a second of what they say, it’s always completely stupid.

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Todd Seavey