Overheard In New York

Where the Pets and Strippers Go

PetCo Woman: Oops, sorry to bump into you. Watch out, I might be going into your pants!
PetCo Guy: I wasn’t complaining. As long as you tip me. –PetCo, Union Square

It’s a Very Trenchcoat Hannukah

Old Lady: Those kids in Columbine used to bully kids themselves. I saw an interview with one. You think the parents didn’t know something was going on, the way they used to dress up like Hitler?
Black Nurse: Really?
Old Lady: One of them was half-Jewish, too!
Black Nurse: That don’t make sense.
Old Lady: They think they’re hot stuff. They don’t care. –W Train

Lady In Red

Woman (wearing red pants & with red fingernails): I just made the greatest discovery: if I always dress in red, then I will always match and always look good! I’m now in the middle of getting rid of all my old clothing and buying only red clothing. – Subway

Kerry Who?

Woman (night of the New Hampshire primary): KERRY WON!!!!
Friend: What, American Idol? – Manhattan

Paging Dr. Spock

Crying Little Girl: My feet are cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: You’ve got to let them warm up and thaw.
Crying Little Girl: They’re really cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: They’ll be warm in a minute.
Crying Little Girl: My feet are cold!
The Baby’s Daddy: Shut up! Shut up! Stop crying! Do you want me to kick your ass in front of everybody on the train? Your feet are gonna be cold but your ass is gonna be hot! –W Train

Maybe Your Straw is Too Thin

Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp. –Bubby’s, Hudson St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley

And What’s Her Number?

Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end. –Funayama, Greenwich Village