Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at. – Midtown
And now presenting: Truly Tasteless Jokes
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Guy: What?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
–Greenwich St., Financial District
The dirtiest song ever
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable!
– Lolita
And you never will, with that attitude
Girl on cell: Hey! What’s new?…What?…I have no life. I don’t know what to tell you. –Union Square
And frankly, she makes a good case
20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you. –F train
Our New Motto
Perceptive woman: Anytime you overhear people, if you only hear a second of what they say, it’s always completely stupid.
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
“C” You Then!
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer. –R train Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
“…And then she took my shanks away!”
Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that! –D train
I have that record
Hipster: Hey, that’s my favorite song! It’s by Philip Glass! – Alt.coffee, after employee stopped a CD playing in the background that had skipped and repeated the same sound for a few minutes.
Maybe you’re over-reacting
Passport agent in airport to everyone waiting to go into customs: Everyone with a US passport, up against that wall!
Man in line: Have things changed that much?
– JFK Airport