20-something yuppie: As soon as I got my acceptances & rejections back, I realized what I should have realized before I even applied, of where I really wanted to go and what I really wanted to study. – Park Slope
…And She Votes
Teen with Bright Future: What’s that? Now that I’ve become pregnant people think that I don’t fight. Come here. I’ll kick your fucking ass, bitch. –14th Street
Order Up
Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are?
–Taco Bell, West Village
That’s an Order
20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do.
– Pizzeria, Boerum Hill
Clark Kent cum Superman!
Hipster: That’s the phone booth where I lost my virginity! – Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Those Table-clearing Hooligans
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables. –D Train
2+3=4?
Guy: It seems like the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos were exciting, but the last few have been boring. –D Train
Bird’s Eye for the Straight Guy
Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Happiness or Possession?
Older woman: It seems like you’re really happy!
Younger man: Yes, I am. And it seems like Jonah is really happy, too.
Older woman: We think that happiness is over-rated. We are not happy. We are possessed.
– Gallery opening on Rivington St.
Yes, Shrapnel is Hi-larious
Cop #1: That was a fun job. That was exciting.
Cop #2: Oh, come on.
Cop #1: When he said, “I’ll go in, you stay here”, I really thought we had a bomb there.
–Bay Parkway Subway Station