Fool — Even Now the Eye of Sharon Turns in Our Direction!

Dude #1: I mean, when she walked into the room it was like… a demonic presence.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Dude #1: No, you don’t. Your girlfriend isn’t like that. She’s not a bitch.
Dude #2: Yeah, she is, just in a different way. She’s a smart enough bitch not to let people know she’s a bitch. –NYC High School

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Pepé Le Pew’s Scentimental Wednesday One-Liners

Hobo: Hey, ladies. [Girls giggle.] You smell so good — like Campbell’s soup! –10th & Broadway Overheard by: Emily Man on cell: You tell your smelly sisters that they have to shower tonight. –39th & 5th Queer hipster to fag hag: Oh my god, his placenta stank! –N train Overheard by: Lauren Chick to friend: Shut up, or I’ll sniff you in a minute! –Central Park JAP: Ew, like — I like, washed my hair, like, this morning… Why does it, like, smell? Ewww… That’s sooo bimmey! –1 train Chipper thugette: I smell pussy! –L train, Bedford stop

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Walt Whitman: *Swoons*

Security guard by exit: Baggage, baggage, baggage? Baggage claim this way.
International passenger #1: Baggage, baggage! Baggage claim this way!
International passenger #2: Baggage claim this way?
Security guard: Baggage baggage baggage?
International passenger #3: Baggage!
Security guard: Baggage claim this way. –Gate 20, Terminal 3, JFK

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Wednesday One-Liners Are Here, They’re Queer, They’re Not Going Anywhere

Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train

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