Playa on cell: I know there will. That’s why I’m not bringin’ my shortie. You don’t bring sand to the beach, playa. Huh-huh. –Stanton + Forsythe, LES Overheard by: Cityrag.com (Hi, Buddy!)
“Shove it!”
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
Too Good to Be True?
Woman #1: You see that guy?
Woman #2: Who?
Woman #1: The bartender.
Woman #2: Yeah, what about him?
Woman #1: I fucked him.
Woman #2: Was he any good?
Woman #1: No, he sucked shit.
Woman #2: Are you still fucking him?
Woman #1: Hell, yeah!
Woman #2: Why the hell are you fucking him, then?
Woman #1: We’re getting free drinks, aren’t we? And besides I’m bored and not getting any other dick at the moment so I might as well. I’ll ditch his dumb good-looking ass soon.
Woman #2: You mean when you find another good dick!
Woman #1: Whatever.
Woman #2: Cheers.
–Midtown Bar
Stupid Answers to Snappy Questions
Guy: Make your own ammonium nitrate! Ask me how! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
And We Dress So Futuristic Now
An art gallery has an exhibit of old record covers. Hipster girl: People dressed so retro back in those days. –Soho
Straightlines without Punchlines
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
You Can’t Make These Quotes Up
Guy on cell: I got fired on Thursday. I was 10 minutes late and they fired me, can you believe it?…Oh come on, it was my first day! –1st Ave & 9th St.
What A Charming Young Gentleman
Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks! –D Train
How Cheap Can You Get?
Woman: Oh! That’s one of the books I want you to get for me.
Man: I’m not sure if they have it at the library.
–Barnes & Noble, West Village
Overheard by: Caren Lissner
Sage Advice
Urban Youth #1: I’m not Eric. I fight dirty.
Urban Youth #2: Why the fuck you wanna fight fair for? You know you’re gonna lose.
–D Train