20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do.
– Pizzeria, Boerum Hill
Clark Kent cum Superman!
Hipster: That’s the phone booth where I lost my virginity! – Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Those Table-clearing Hooligans
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables. –D Train
2+3=4?
Guy: It seems like the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos were exciting, but the last few have been boring. –D Train
Bird’s Eye for the Straight Guy
Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird. –Spring St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Happiness or Possession?
Older woman: It seems like you’re really happy!
Younger man: Yes, I am. And it seems like Jonah is really happy, too.
Older woman: We think that happiness is over-rated. We are not happy. We are possessed.
– Gallery opening on Rivington St.
Yes, Shrapnel is Hi-larious
Cop #1: That was a fun job. That was exciting.
Cop #2: Oh, come on.
Cop #1: When he said, “I’ll go in, you stay here”, I really thought we had a bomb there.
–Bay Parkway Subway Station
Loving Teenagers
Teenage girl #1: What are you talking about? I hate so many people!
Teenage girl #2: No you don’t!
Teenage girl #1: Yes I do!
Teenage girl #2: I always talk about how much I hate Tom and you–
Teenage girl #1: Oh, I don’t hate people I know. I only hate celebrities.
–Williamsburg
Go Granddaddy!
Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!” – On the Subway
No, We Don’t Sell Dictionaries
Customer: Is that banner going to be permanent?
Cashier: For a little while.
–Forbidden Planet