Guy on cell: I got fired on Thursday. I was 10 minutes late and they fired me, can you believe it?…Oh come on, it was my first day! –1st Ave & 9th St.
What A Charming Young Gentleman
Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks! –D Train
How Cheap Can You Get?
Woman: Oh! That’s one of the books I want you to get for me.
Man: I’m not sure if they have it at the library.
–Barnes & Noble, West Village
Overheard by: Caren Lissner
Sage Advice
Urban Youth #1: I’m not Eric. I fight dirty.
Urban Youth #2: Why the fuck you wanna fight fair for? You know you’re gonna lose.
–D Train
Ix-nay on the Atman-bay
Guy #1: Secrets are meant to be kept in your head, not in a book.
Guy #2: Sometimes I forget those secrets and need a reference!
–Midtown Comics
That Explains Your Pallor…and Death
Chick: I have very, very, very, very little free time. In a week I might have 15 hours, and that includes sleep! –1st Ave & 9th St.
Punch Lines Without Punchlines
Woman: It’s like ‘Here’s two boxing gloves. Put them on. Beat yourself up.’ –6 Train
Quite an Anti-climax
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me! –La Lanterna
I’m Only Classy When Lit
Guy: During the blackout we were over there stealing beers from that convenience store. –8th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Stacy Katz
It’s Still Better Than Maxim
Frat boy #1: I’ve been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Dude, this book makes so much sense. I totally understand women now.
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah. This girl at work, she was all into me and shit and I totally cut her off, it was cold. She was so annoying. I really understand how to deal with women now. It explains all their games and translates what they’re saying.
Frat boy #2: So I’m reading this book about Transylvanian necrophiliacs…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Suzanne