A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
Girl: When I was a kid my parents bought me everything I wanted.
Guy: Well yeah, you were really spoiled.
Girl: No, I was highly entertained.
Guy: You were spoiled. You got everything, right?
Guy: So you were spoiled.
Girl: You don’t understand. I didn’t cry or whine. My parents just bought me everything. –N Train
Doctor (on cell): Hello Doctor…Just tell her to take more anti-depressants for God’s sake. I don’t know, tell her to take three. I’m with my kids for Father’s Day, OK? –33rd Street and 6th Avenue Overheard by: Christopher
Two hobos are having a quarrel. Bum: No, no, man, we can’t fuck each other; we gotta find two women to fuck! –Herald Square Overheard by: Todd Seavey
A Wendy’s employee, fresh off his break, pretends to be a customer.
Wendy’s Guy #1: Hello, sir. Welcome to Wendy’s. Can I take your order?
Wendy’s Guy #2: I want a Big Mac.
Wendy’s Guy #1: A Big Mac?
Wendy’s Girl: I don’t want a Big Mac but I want that sauce.
Wendy’s Guy #2: Yeah, it’s pretty good.
Wendy’s Girl: Isn’t it just 1000 island dressing? –Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Guy: What does that tattoo say?
Chick: *Sigh* I promised myself I’d never get a tattoo unless I had a kid. Then I got a dog. It says Roxy. That’s her name. Now I have to explain to everyone how I’m the biggest loser in the world. –LES
Old Lady: And then she said she didn’t like him because he was too fat. She wanted to date someone skinnier. You know, like you?
Old Man: I’m skinny?
Old Lady: Of course.
Old Man: Then what’s this hanging off of me? –Brighton Beach
Two boys, both about 10, are thoroughly engrossed in their Game Boys.
First boy: My mother’s a lesbian.
Second boy: So is mine. –#1 Train
Greetings, friends. Do you enjoy the fine, free quality programming here at Overheard in New York? Then you owe it to yourself to contribute whatever you happen to overhear. Together, we can continue bringing you the meta-humor we all know and love. Thanks The Staff
Nerd #1: From the way you talk about LISP, I think you went to MIT. Did you?
Nerd #2: Yes, I did! – Union Square Park