Chinese Girls Are Dead Serious About Husband Hunting

White boy, doing homework on laptop: Do you have a gun?
Chinese girl, also doing homework on laptop: Yeah.
White boy: Can I use it?
Chinese girl, putting hand in purse: Wait, what did you say?
White boy: Do you have a gun?
Chinese girl: Oh… Not here.
White boy: Where is it?
Chinese girl: In China.
White boy: Oh. Never mind then. I just want it for this. (motions towards computer screen)
(they both lightly laugh)
White boy
: You have a gun in China?

Chinese girl: Yeah.
White boy: Like, a hand gun?
Chinese girl: No. A big one.(gestures with hands)
White boy: Why?
Chinese girl: I don't know. I found it in my closet.

–Marymount Manhattan College Library

Wednesday One-Liners Are What They Are By Virtue of Their Relationships

Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me. –Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St Overheard by: MK Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.

–1st & Ave B

Overheard by: Mollena Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.

–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.

–LIRR to Penn Station

Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear. –Harlem Overheard by: McN Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole. –West Building, Hunter College Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much! –Central Park Overheard by: Mike

I've Parlayed It Into a Lucrative Modeling Career

Customer: I love your fries, I'm so addicted.
Cashier: Have you tried anything else on our menu?
Customer: Actually, I'm allergic to chickpeas, so, no.
Cashier: Oh, man, that sucks. Our falafel is so good!
Customer: Yeah…
Cashier: Well, hey, at least you're not allergic to wheat.
Customer: Um…actually…
Cashier: Damn! How do you live like that?

–Taim , West Village