Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp. –Bubby’s, Hudson St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
And What’s Her Number?
Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Loss Plan
Guy: Spam with Cheez Whiz. That’s my new diet. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
They Met at the USPS
Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.” –Post Office, Bensonhurst
That’s a Show I Want to See
American Man: Do they know in Africa who Helen Keller is?
African Woman: Yes…didn’t she have a television show a couple of years ago?
–Forest Hills
Chivalry Ain’t Dead
Chick: He bumped against me. He said, “I’m sorry.” I said, “That’s OK.” I didn’t realize he was shoving me out of the way to take my seat! –F Train
Ms. Manners 2004
Girl: She’s a lesbian. Why are you trying to find an excuse that she’s not a lesbian? That’s very rude. –W Train
God Bless the ACLU
Cop: Come on, you’re coming with me.
Educated youth: Naw, man! I got my third right amendment! My third right amendment!
["No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law."]
–42nd & 7th
Damn Effete Gangsters
Drunk: They’re, like, Mafia terrorists! …but they’re French. –Divine Bar West Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Define “Fame”
Chick: It’s the biggest Wal-Mart in Arkansas. That’s their claim to fame. –Tennessee Mountain, SoHo