Overheard In New York

I was born yesterday

Recent college graduate #1: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?
Recent college graduate #2: Yes, I’ve seen one–but I’ve never seen a movie on one. – Private apartment, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

Hanging up is just too hard

Woman, screaming into her cell phone: I SAID I DON’T KNOW YOU. I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS FROM YOU. I DIDN’T WANT TO CALL YOU. I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DON’T KNOW. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S NUMBER. I DON’T WANT TO DISTURB YOU. I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT? I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DIDN’T MEAN TO ALL YOU. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS. BYE. –Union Square Park

Bill Cosby Is Spinning in His Grave

Black Kid #1: Yo nigga, how long are we taking this train up? Yo dumb nigga, answer me.
Black Kid #2: Yo what?
Black Kid #1: How long are we taking this train up for?
Black Kid #2: I don’t know.
Black Kid #1: Niggers are dumb anyway. –F Train

Sausage Fest Y2K4

Man #1: I am getting ready to throw my annual party soon.
Man #2: Dude, just remember to invite women this year. –Central Park

Snappy Questions to Stupid Answers

Mother: Hey, have you been to the freak show…lately? –Coney Island Boardwalk Overheard by: Matt Law

Swing Low Sweet Chariots

Teen girl #1: I hate you. Your boobs are always so cute and perky!
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but when I’m not wearing a bra, they’re like…down to my navel. –Kew Gardens

No wonder the dot-coms went under

Techie: …and there was a strong correlation between the last two digits of their social security numbers and how much they spent on the site! – Office, midtown

Tunneldumb and Tunneldumber

Lesbian #1: The G train always takes so long between stops, especially since it’s not going in a tunnel.
Lesbian #2: But it does go through a tunnel.
Lesbian #1: Yeah, but I mean a tunnel under water.
Lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, okay, it’s not going under water.
Lesbian #1: I always wondered how they make those tunnels.
Lesbian #2: They have one of those machines, that goes in circles.
Lesbian #1: Oh, okay…
Lesbian #2: You know, the one that goes in circles really quickly?
Lesbian #1: Yeah… [Pause] But when they build the tunnel in the water, does it go in the water, or under the water?
Lesbian #2: Under the water.
Lesbian #1: Oh, right. –G train