Old Man: You put your hands on me again, I’ll cut your fucking throat. –Post Office, Bensonhurst
That’s Stamina
Guy #1: Look at that ass.
Guy #2: That is tight.
Guy #1: Man, I would have came eight times.
–W Train
There’s Gay, and Then There’s AIDS Gay
Gay Man #1: I like your coat.
Gay Man #2: Where did you get it?
Gay Man #1: Gucci.
Gay Man #2: Gucci, Gucci, Goo!
–Elevator, Manhattan
That’s Public Service for You
One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups. –Bleecker street Overheard by: Disco Lama
Fun with the Homeless
New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD! –Midtown Overheard by: Megan Buckley
I Get More Action With Them
Schoolgirl: I’m the only one at school that wears wild stockings. –M79 Bus Overheard by: Fred Weiner
Those Wacky Homeless
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Malice Goes to Style Court
Bored Guest: When are we going to get out of here? Don’t tell me in two hours. I’d rather get out of here in three hours than in two hours. If I have to go over that bridge during rush hour, I’ll shoot myself and then jump. I’ll be falling with a gun to my head. –Style Court Plaintiff Room
Malice Goes to Style Court
Walkie Talkie: Style for Lori. You’ve got a guest freaking out upstairs. Get up here. –Style Court Plaintiff Room
Malice Goes to Style Court
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
–Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X