New Yorkers: As Seen on TV

Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map.

--Union Square station


Overheard by: Craig D


A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look.

Truck driver: Nobody's honking at you, you dumb bitch!

--Bay Ridge


Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin' road map?

--outside Grand Central


Overheard by: Dork


A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament?

--40th & 7th