Father: Dad. The name is Dad. –Eli’s, 80th & 3rd Columbia guy: I don’t think I should see Avenue Q on stage. Whenever I see puppets I start throwing up. Just throwing up all over the place. The same thing with porn. When I’m a father I’m just going to show my kids so much porn that they throw up. Then I’ll turn them into computer geeks. –114th & Broadway Overheard by: Maxwell Cohen Woman: I mean, he got really mad at me after I slept with his father…and it was only one time! –6 train Dad on cell: …we gotta go out by ourselves…the fuckin’ kids, they always want something, it never stops!…Yeah?! Well, what the fuck does the little Princess want now?! –Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd Dad on cell: Hi, Sammy. How was school today?…Uh huh, what did you do in computers?…What do you mean, you had to show three pictures?…And you were able to do it?…You use Macs in school, right?…Yeah, it’s an Apple. A Mac is an Apple…You know that’s different than the computer you use at home…Yeah, it’s a different operating system…Well, I’m glad you were able to do it. Let me talk to Mommy. –Acela Express train Papa thug: Yo, next time someone pushes you like that, you don’t push back, you hear?…you kick him in the motherfucking face. –12th Street between 1st & A Overheard by: milo Her baby daddy: …yeah, she’d be about 15 or 16 by now. But her mom was messin’ around, too, so…She better not come to me 50 years later sayin “she’s yours” cause I don’t play that. Plus, I got a little girl of my own, so I’m good. –A train Overheard by: lori dockendorf Dad: Walking is just like running, only slower. –Atlantic Avenue mall Boy: I mean, if it weren’t for the child support, you’d be good, right?
Father: What? –60th & 3rd Overheard by: Kaitlen Dad: Babies have giant heads…and our heads shrink as we get older. –Museum of Natural History