Stand Clear of the Closing Wednesday One-liners

Conductor: The way this train is moving you'd be better off on a bicycle. Next stop is Broadway-Lafayette, where transfer to the 6 is downtown only for reasons unknown.

--F train


Overheard by: Matt


Chick: Everybody at work lives in Park Slope. They have nicknames for the subway: N stands for Never, R stands for Rarely, and W for Whatever.

--Forbes Magazine gym, 5th Avenue


Conductor: There are bathrooms located in every other train car. And again, please don't pee on the seats people.

--Metro-North train


Overheard by: Susie P


Conductor: This is the F train to Manhattan, next stop York St...by the way, you just missed your connection with the C train. When I miss my connection, it just makes me sick.

--F train


Overheard by: RMC