Wednesday One-liners Know How to Get Around

Bus driver: The stop after this will be the next one. We should be arriving in a week to ten days.

--M42 bus


Overheard by: Dan Alcalde


Transit cop: I guess I'll pretend to do something here.

--Queens Plaza station


Conductor: Passengers, please do not use your valuables, or your child, to stop the train doors from closing!

--1 train


Black guy: I got me a ghetto Gold Card, son. It'll get you on the train, it'll get you on the bus.

--A train


Overheard by: Timothy C


Loudspeaker: Would anyone that speaks Chinese please report to the Amtrak Information booth in the center of the Terminal? Anyone that speaks Chinese.

--Penn Station


Overheard by: P. Mills


Chick: The cabdriver wouldn't let us leave the cab unless I showed him
my tits. That is so my away message tomorrow!

--LIRR train


Overheard by: Steve Carbo


Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the delay in landing the aircraft, but the air traffic controller here at LaGuardia is an angry, bitter man.

--over LaGuardia


Overheard by: Dana Clair