Waitress: Sorry sir, your order did not come out as you expected. The cooks don’t speak English so they didn’t understand what you wanted. –ESPNZone, Times Square Overheard by: Rachel W Spanish girl: When I got my tongue pierced it wasn’t swollen at all. They was tellin’ me to eat soup and shit. Fuck that! I was eatin’ rice and beans like five times a day! I am not gonna starve myself for no piercing. Fuck that! Gimme a T-bone. –M train A hobo walks up to the people outside and says: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has no atmosphere. –Indochine, Lafayette Street Drunk guy: So I eat the Baklava, then I go into the bathroom to take care of my business. When I come out I say, “What’s the problem?”. –47th & 9th Overheard by: JH Woman: Can you please make sure it’s a boy lobster? I’m only into boys, and don’t want to eat a girl. –Austin ale house, Kew Gardens Overheard by: tom Pudgy guy on cell: I used to pay for dinner for three. But now I don’t pay for anyone, I just have Apple Jacks at home. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Alita