Announcing Wednesday One-liners

Suit: Attention tourists. It is now just after 5PM, and unlike you, some of us had to work today and would like to fucking get home. Please keep moving and do not just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk. This has been a public service announcement.

--43rd & 7th


Conductor: Next time, you lose your hands!

--N train


Overheard by: Gregorio


The train stops in the tunnel, and the conductor announces: Ladies and gentlemen! We are momentarily held between the stations. We will be moving shortly. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery.

--A train


Driver: Welcome aboard the M86 crosstown bus. I apologize for the delay today; we will be moving momentarily. If you are carrying a grudge from school, or work, or home, please do not take it out on me. I promise you, we will be moving momentarily.

--M86 bus


Overheard by: Diane


Conductor: Get all your possessions, including your body, inside the doors, if you want the train to move. It's that simple.

--S train


Conductor: That was a very dangerous thing that you just did with the cane.

--F train