Bus driver: Will all the beautiful people please step to the rear? All the beautiful people, you know who you are. Thank you. –Q46 bus Overheard by: Joyce Shen Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen: if you’re running late for your train, try calling out “please wait.” Most conductors will! The magic word gets used so seldom down here. This is your conductor speaking. And I’ll wait. –F train Conductor: Why you waving your hand in the door? You trying to catch a cab? –B train Bus driver: If you want good air conditioning, move to the middle. This bus is crap! –QM1 bus Overheard by: MissDona Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have some good news and some bad news. Bad news is that our engine has stopped. The good news is that you’re not on an airplane. –MetroNorth train Overheard by: Nic Conductor: Attention ladies and gentlemen, this is not an interactive ride! Please do not hold the doors. –D train Overheard by: Camodee D PA system: Ladies and gentlemen, riding on the outside of cars is dangerous. Please ride fully inside the cars. –4 train Overheard by: OJ-Gangas Conductor: This is the D train headed to the Bronx. I repeat, this is the D train. D, as in Denise Richards. –D train