Depends on How Much Axle Grease You Put on It

Conductor: Good news for riders going local. This train is not going express, as previously announced, but going local, like normal. If there's such a thing as normal...Questions? Comments? Suggestions? See your conductor, located in the center of the train. Don't just walk around confused. Ask me! I know! Usually...Just a reminder to turn those frowns upside-down. Smiling burns more calories!
Guy: Giving the finger to the conductor burns calories, too.

--R train


Overheard by: Dawn