Can I Have Your Autograph, Wednesday One-liners?

Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.

--Music Box theatre, West 45th Street


Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.

--C train


Overheard by: nicolette


Guy: I'm gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.

--68th & Columbus


Overheard by: Andrew Zar


Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.

--Red Hook


Guy: Yeah, you know, that's the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.

--52 & Lexington