Guy on cell: Yeah, that was me, totally making out with the toilet last night. --Broadway & 172nd Overheard by: boozeweasel Little boy: Mommy, next time you get into a fight with daddy, you should just go outside and drink a bottle of beer. --1 train Overheard by: NickPorJR Woman: It was the first time I've been drunk in Times Square at one in the afternoon. --Pacifico, Carroll Gardens Hipster girl: The reason why I've looked so bad these past few days is because I've been drunk. --Greene & Spring Girl on cell: I want to get really drunk...and then play with the baby. --Hunter College cafeteria Overheard by: Jenna Vee