Fratboy #1: Dude, if he like, never went out at all and studied all the time, he could get As.
Fratboy #2: Yeah, but what’s the point in that?
Fratboy #1: What does he want to do again?
Fratboy #2: Well, he’ll never be good at business because he can’t hold his liquor.
Fratboy #1: We’ll have to help him out. –Columbia University