Conductor: Step in and stand clear of the doors, folks. If you can't fit, wait for the next train. This is not the last helicopter off the top of the embassy. --1 train Bus driver: In case you haven't noticed, we are on a very crowded bus. Please move to the rear. Squeeze in. Step on someone's toes. Make a new friend. --M7 bus Overheard by: Sarah Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen: we do not need doorholders. --N train Conductor: Attention passengers: for future reference, "Stand clear of the closing doors" does not mean "stick your head out the door." --R train Bus driver: Lady, you want to tell your kid to put her head back inside the window? She would look stupid with it off. --B1 bus