Southern lady: Oh my goodness! There was a girl. And she was a big girl. And she was wearing a short, short tiny little skirt. And she had a thong on! With no pants! And a boy came up and started bonin' her from behind! I thought I was in The Twilight Zone! --N train Guy: Well, I'd let Jessica Alba give me head, but she'd have to be wearing gold hoop earrings and chew gum. You know, totally porno. --5th Avenue & 10th Street Overheard by: Christina Walker Guy on cell: I gonna watch that with a fucking can of Vaseline, playing with myself the whole time. --50th & 8th Dude: You think Bill Gates gives a shit about a bunch of jackoff losers playing Madden 2006? He probably installed some censors in the controls that reprogram your brain with the same code they wrote XP in as you play. --Millennium Broadway Hotel, West 44th Street Overheard by: Jonathan Dorman Tourist dad: Who did you think was going to be staying at our hotel? Madonna? Brad Pitt? Erik Estrada? --8th between 47th & 48th