Wednesday One-liners Rifle Through the Trash
Guy: Dude, no one uses "hobo" in a sentence anymore.
--McCoy's Bar, 9th Avenue
Continue reading "Wednesday One-liners Rifle Through the Trash"
Hobo: Yeah, 'cause I wanna buy a sandwich. Please help me buy a sandwich. Please, it's for a birthday, that sandwich. Oh yeah, gimme all that change. I love you! I love you! I love you!...Don't be bendin' over to pick up nothing. Don't be bendin' over pickin' up nothing off the floor. Don't be playin those games with me. Respect yo'self!
--89th & Madison
Overheard by: Lucy & Janie
Hobo: Fellas, let me lay it straight to you: I wanna go to the peep show and whack off.
--Greenwich & Spring
Overheard by: Jhorn
Hobo: Can you spare the love and help a brotha out? Even some change. I'll remember it...I'll remember you when I win the lottery. I'll come looking for you in my helicopter.
--115th & Broadway
Hobo: Come on! Help me make my first million!
--Forest Hills
Overheard by: c.barina
Hobo: Columbus didn't discover America, people were here already. I'm going to 55th Street. I just discovered 55th Street! Look for the dumbest kid on the block and offer him fifty cents for his house. What? You can't write? That's okay, just sign here with an X.
--4 train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Hobo: C'mon, gimme a quarter. Pretty lady, gimme a quarter. Hey, you, Fat Albert, you gotta quarter? Nah...oh! Slim Shady over there, you know you got a quarter!
--86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
Hobo: One dollar! One dollar! Magic beans! One dollar!
--14th & 6th
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Hobo: So how about some change for your
favorite homeless guy?
--12th & 5th
Hobo: Yo, Freddie!
Fuck you. Every time I hear your fuckin' name and see your fuckin' ugly face, it makes me wanna take a big fuckin' shit on your head.
--Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Tessa White
Woman: Yeah, Coney Island is where they bury all the dead homeless people.
--49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Michael Galyon
Hobo: There are, like, a hundred people on this damn train. If each one of you gave me just a penny, I'd have, like, two dollars.
--B train
Hobo:
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go. To fuck this cock, to fuck this cock, hi ho.
--Union Square
Hobo: I had a birthday once. I almost died, I was so fucked up. I just drank way too fucking much. But I'm clean now. I did die once in '73 in a bathtub. Jim Morrison. It's a pretty famous story. My wife found me in the bathtub. Oliver Stone made a movie about me once, but it wasn't that good.
--F train
Overheard by: mlot
Yarmulke hobo: Who wants to take the day off work, take me home and cuddle? Why go to work when you can cuddle with me?
--57th & 6th
Overheard by: Katie C