You Can't Trust Those Damn Slags

Girl: But, I mean, it's not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it's like your chances are good that you'll give birth too.
Girl: ...Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.

--Park Slope


Guy #1: I don't mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don't get pregnant.

--Grove & Bleecker