Wednesday One-liners Watch VH1

Drunk guy: You're not the boss of me...Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me.

--The Red Lion, Bleecker Street


Guy: Seriously. Puff's attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn't want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he's the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever.

--Anotheroom, West Broadway


Overheard by: Big Lex


Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, "She looks so familiar, who is she?" Queen Latifah's mother!...No, mangos.

--Office, 50th & 6th


Girl: Well, if he's cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows.

--The Dugout, Christopher Street


Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I'm gonna die.

--30th & Park


Hipster guy: Yeah and what's with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else.

--Abbey Bar, Williamsburg


Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos


Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there's a telethon featuring only John Denver music.

--2nd between A & B


Overheard by: djlindee


Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven't seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show?

--L train


Overheard by: Shannon


Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song.

--14th & 6th


Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He's got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I'd drive a car onto stage...and smash it into a tree.

--Fordham University, Rose Hill


Overheard by: Jess McGins


Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up!

--43rd between 8th & 9th


Overheard by: Ryan Duncan


Old woman: Oh, is Lil' Kim in jail?

--7th & Bleecker


Overheard by: Sarah Doogs


Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy's telling the truth, he's lived quite a life.

--Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street


Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte


Asian guy: The time has come fo' mad hip-hop.

--Go Sushi, St. Marks Place


Overheard by: Alyson Leigh


Crazy lady: Excuse me...Excuse me...Have you heard of a band called "The Diarrheas"? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and...Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they'll be successful?

--11th between 52nd & 53rd


Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don't need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in '83!...Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi's first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes?

--Rivington & Stanton