Wednesday One-liners Are Upright Citizens
Suit on cell: Hey, yeah...Yeah, I just got back from 100 Centre Street. Yeah, Georgie Boy was drooling over counselor's dick...You know, Georgie Boy: Boy George...That's right, on his knees drooling over counselor's dick. Moron lives on Mulberry, right around the corner from 100 Centre Street. They found like six bags of blow, says lots of people stay there, not his, whatever. But he's shitting in his diaper...What?...Yeah, just six bags, whatever. But he's drooling over counselor's dick. I told him, "Don't worry Georgie Boy"--we only call him "Georgie Boy"--I told him, "Don't worry, you have a Jewish lawyer." Do you really want to blow me?...Huh? What?...No!
--Russian & Turkish Baths, East 10th Street
Overheard by: Trey Desolay
Continue reading "Wednesday One-liners Are Upright Citizens"
Chick: So, basically, I need you to get in trouble and go to jail or something.
--56th & 5th
Cop on cell: Honey, I am going to be late. I am stuck at a crime scene.
--Snack Town, Bushwick
Girl: So I had to go testify in that court thing, I just told them I saw him there, I don't like the guy, and I mean, I don't think perjury should be a crime. Like, who cares if you tell a little lie?
--LIRR
Teen boy: You cheated, nigga; drank Red Bull. That shit gives you wings. You was like flyin'.
--A train
Suit: There is a very fine line between stalking and making things happen.
--4 train
Cop: Uh, now I've gotta go fight crime.
--Cafe Exchange, Broadway & Exchange Place
Chick: The churro guy is not the most honest person in the world.
--Grand Central
Overheard by: samir
Girl: Guys just lie and lie. They put their penis in and then they lie.
--Union Square
Overheard by: Collin
Cop on megaphone: If you make me come up that hill I'll be
really mad!
--Inwood
Overheard by: helena vozhd
Jury Duty guy: You people are the only thing standing between
civilization and utter chaos.
--Holding room, Centre Street