Mom: I will never pay for the New York Times. You remember what they did? Printing our home address and pictures of Mommy and us half nude? I will never pay for the New York Times. Remember how Mommy got letters from convicts? Because they're the only ones who have enough time to read the entire New York Times. Mommy will never give them a dime! They're lucky I didn't sue! --1 train Overheard by: LenaM Girl: Not really, all they want to do is stay in my apartment and order delivery. They're from the suburbs and don't have delivery there. --A train Overheard by: amc Chick: I thought this was the ghetto, but I haven't seen, like, a single black person. --Boerum Hill Overheard by: matt stohrer Mom: Honey, this train station is very crowded. That is why they call it Grand Central Station. --Grand Central Tourist chick: Oh, so this is where it used to be. --Ground Zero Overheard by: Rich Mintz Chick: wow, the down escalator is so much easier than the up one. --Port Authority Crazy guy: Shit, I like the Natural History Museum. But I'd like it better if there were whores all around it. --1 train Overheard by: caroline Girl: I couldn't ever take the train into work and have to deal with all the people. The trains are dirty, crowded, and takes a long time to get anywhere. That's the beauty of living in New York; you don't have to deal with those things. --5 train Guy: So I was down on Canal, buying some of that perfume my wife likes for Valentine's. Some of that Chanel; usually it's $45 a bottle! But I talked this guy down to $25. I got it home, but before I give it to my wife, I spray a little on my hand--and it smells exactly like roach spray! --Elevator, 6th & Spring Cop on megaphone: Attention, Fordham preppies! Go back to the suburbs! --Norwood Overheard by: Bridget Kearney