Hobo: Well, mathematically speaking, I’m fucked. –2nd Avenue station Overheard by: Maddog Hobo: I don’t steal. I don’t snatch purses. I don’t bother women. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a homosexual. But I do bathe. And I do sleep on the subway ’cause I am a bum. –4 train Overheard by: Jen McC. Hobo: Anybody want to take the day off and cuddle with me? It’s kosher! –52nd & 5th Overheard by: Jess Hobo: I’m just tryin’ to get some pussy here and all y’all gotta come up in here and bother me. Damn. –PATH train Overheard by: Everett Moran Hobo: I’ve been shitting plastic lately. –Q60 bus Overheard by: Ben Hobo: Please help me…Please help me…I need money to buy popcorn…Please help me…I need a hot meal…I need money to buy popcorn. –53rd & Park Hobo: Uh oh, uh oh! You make a big doo-doo! It’s okay. I make big doo-doos too. –Astor Place Overheard by: Melissa Cole Hobo: Spare a little change, girls? That’s all right, God bless you…even the Chinese girl. –Bank & Bleecker Hobo: The tax man has a licence to kill. No questions asked. More people should know that. –5th Avenue-53rd Street station Overheard by: Tzvi Tampa Hobo: If you see a suspicious black package on this train do not pick it up. If you see a large, black package on my seat after I leave, do not worry. It is not a bomb. I’ve been riding this train for fifteen years. Leave it for the Coney island clean-up crew. They’ll take care of it. It is not a weapon, it is not filled with hundred dollar bills, just don’t touch it…Did you know that Union Square is a hundred years older than Times Square? –N train Overheard by: Zelda Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption. I am trying to raise one million dollars and 25 cents for wine research. –4 train Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer Hobo: All you people who just got on the train, everybody in this car already gave me $7. Everybody gave me $7 but you. –6 train Girl: So I saw this homeless guy walking down the street with, like, all the bags and stuff, and he had something bewtween his teeth! –6 train Hobo: Hey man, help an ugly dude out, will ya? –33rd & 8th Overheard by: Brian Graham Hobo: What’s the holdup? Let’s get this train moving! There’s people gots to go to work, gots to go to school! There’s pregnant people! Court musicians! –R train Hobo: Yeah, a couple of Jewish lawyers out to fuck the world…Shee-it. –42nd & Lexington Overheard by: Ronald A. Veenker