Howie Mandel in 5 Years

Girl #1: I don't understand why he's so popular.
Girl #2: It's obviously because he's a drug dealer.

--Broadway between Grand & Howard


Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I'm at it, why don't I just not send my
kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the
street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don't want some weed?

--Washington Square Park