Old man: Come on, I'll take you out for a nice dinner: I'll take you to the Russian Tea Room! --74th & Broadway Overheard by: Susan Volchok Girl: I love ranch dressing. I put ranch dressing on stuff like it's my job. --Lafayette Street Residence elevator Guy: Pasta is really tricky. I broke up with a girlfriend in a fight over pasta once. --Food Expo, 2nd Avenue Woman: Aw! Where's my bagel? They forgot to put in my bagel!...Don't worry I'm not crazy. I'm just talking to myself, that's all. --R train Man: That Mr. Frosty shit isn't real. It's fake. It's made up of like sugar and air and foam, stuff like that. It's not ice cream. --Q65A bus Latina: Everytime he smoke he expect me get him whatever he wanna eat. He just smoke a blunt and now he wants me to bring him a hamburger...Do I look like a fuckin' McDonalds? --10th & C Chick: Oh my god, yeah. Like, donuts are fried and so are beignets. Oh! And potato chips are fried, too. They're really bad for you. --Cookshop, 10th Avenue Overheard by: 13-letter last name Dude: So I was looking in the freezer, right? And I pulled out this chicken that expired in 2004. The date on it was like, April 2004. But that's the thing about fresh chicken that you get wrapped up at the store. There's no frozen date, you know? --42nd & 5th PA: Attention, please! May I have your attention, please? This is the fire safety director. The alarm on the 20th was caused by... burning toast in the toaster in the 20th floor pantry. Again, the alarm was caused by burning toast. --Office, 51st & 6th Guy: Yo, chipotle is the truth, my nigga. --Abercrombie & Fitch, 56th & 5th Chick: I'm sorry, anyone that orders strawberry flavored coffee should die. --Office, Liberty Plaza Overheard by: Pandora Teen girl: Look, goat meat is twenty-four dollars a pound and steak is two ninety-nine a pound? How can that be? --Nevins Street station Overheard by: rilke Chick: So at like 12 o'clock she said, "Fuck, I don't have any icing," and, "Fuck, I'll like do a fucking Martha Stewart," so she made her own. --14th & Broadway Girl: Do you have any chocolate chip ice cream without the chocolate chips in it? --Baskin-Robbins, Boerum Hill Man: It would be so much easier if there were a Red Lobster here. --82nd & 5th Overheard by: Heather Bus driver: I'm fine all day, and this the only corner makes my pressure rise...I hate Junior's and all it stands for. Nasty-ass cheesecake. --B54 bus Overheard by: arose Mom: We'd like the walnut lentil pate. Is that popular with children? --Angelica Kitchen, East 12th Street Woman: Ugh! It smells like a plate of hot ass and salami in here! --A train