Now Recruiting: Army of Trashed Spies

Drunk Jersey girl #1: I can never submit anything to Overheard in New York
Drunk Jersey girl #2: Why not? You're in New York more than you're in Jersey.
Drunk Jersey girl #1: Yeah but by the time I get home I'm drunk and I forget what I heard.
Drunk Jersey girl #2: You're a fuckin' mess. Get a laptop.

--5th Ave & Union