Man on crowded train: If my mother were here, I’d sit on her lap. –Downtown A train Overheard by: not his mother Amateur anthropologist: It’s not incest unless it’s, like, your brother. –E 72nd Mom, to teenage son: Darling, sweetie, love of my life, I’ve accepted that you’re gay, haven’t I? And there’s a lot more that I’m willing to accept. But if there is one thing I’m not ok with, it’s flat-ironing my son’s hair. Ask your sister. –Uptown 6 train Woman on cell: You did what?…Why the fuck would you do that?…Yeah, I know he’s your cousin, but you didn’t have to tell him that I slept with his brother. I was going to tell him…When?…After we got married!! –13th & University Girl, digging through purse: Shit, I think my cousin robbed me. –Urban Outfitters, Bleecker & Broadway Overheard by: intern Screaming woman: I’m not in your house; I’m in the middle of the street! Stop making fun of my grandmother! –W 139th St, 2 a.m. Overheard by: Isha Girl on cell: I don’t look at him like a father; I look at him like the man who gave birth to me. –Port Authority Overheard by: Cat