You Can Always Count on New Yorkers to Immediately Break a Situation Down to the Essentials

Tall tourist: Hey, they just said Union Square; is that our stop?
Big-Haired tourist: Our stop is 5th Street.
Conductor: The next stop will be 8th Street.
Doe-Eyed tourist: Is that our stop?
Big-Haired tourist: Our stop is 5th Street.
New Yorker #1: There isn't a stop for 5th Street.
Big-Haired tourist: Then how do we get to Central Park?
New Yorker #2: You should get off and go the other way-- 5th Avenue.
New Yorker #3, as doors open at 8th Street: But wait until Canal. Otherwise you'll have to pay the 2 bucks to get back on the train.

Big-Haired tourist wanders off the train without his tourist counterparts.

Doe-Eyed tourist, as the doors are closing: Wait. Why did he get off?
Tall tourist, to doors: Open up.
New Yorker #2, as the train pulls away: Do you have cell phones?
Tall tourist: No, ma'am.
New Yorker #4: Well, at least his hair looked good.

--Downtown R train

Overheard by: good lord, the tourists are in season