Conductor: We know it’s Monday, and we’re sorry, but we still want to wish you a good week. –LIRR Overheard by: Hates Mondays Conductor: This is the 5:50 super duper express train to Great Neck. –LIRR Overheard by: vm Conductor: This is an uptown D train, making stops to wherever I want. –Uptown D train Overheard by: tired commuter Conductor: 207th Street. Last stop. Everyone wake up and get the fuck off my train; I want to go home. Thanks for riding MTA. –Uptown A train, 207th St Overheard by: How far north can you go? Conductor: Stand clear of the…uh…opening doors. –Q train, 57th St Overheard by: K. Chas Conductor: Everybody out. This is the last stop on the Manhattan bound L train. You must use the Brooklyn bound L train and connect to the G to the A or C trains for service to Manhattan. [The train empties] Hahaha. Just kidding! Everybody back on. This train is going to Manhattan. –Manhattan bound L train Overheard by: Taylor G. Conductor: Good morning, Manhattan, it’s Friday. We can do this! This is a Brooklyn bound 1 train. It’s 7:54. You’ve got plenty of time! –1 train