Wednesday One-Liners Prefer to Be Called 'Rubenesque'

Girl on cell: Oh my God, my love handles are out of control. When I was getting ready tonight, my fat got caught in my zipper.

--49th & 2nd


Overweight girl: Guys don't know what they're missing. There's some fine pussy under this gut!

--Queens College

Overheard by: Jimbob Watson


Old Italian woman: If I die fat, whatever. Just as long as I make everyone else fat before I go, that's fine. They can diet after I'm gone. Just keep my recipes is all I'm sayin', ya know?

--14th & 7th

Overheard by: Dennis


Guy: There should be more laws about people on planes. I once had to sit next to this really fat guy. He was so unapologetic about it! The rogue fat was spilling onto me.

--G train


Shrewd observer, commenting on NYU freshmen: They're so ugly, and a lot of them haven't started smoking yet so they're really fat.

--St. Mark's & 3rd


Little girl to large woman at paper towel dispenser: I didn't get any, stupid fat lady!

--Women's restroom, Shea Stadium

Overheard by: Robyn Z


Art student: You ever seen a fat guy fall on a car? Like, the car just happened to be there?

--Pratt Institute, Brooklyn

Overheard by: TeN22