NewsFlash: After Renovations, MTA Announces Elimination of 'Gap' Accidents, Along With Total Immobility of All Trains

Conductor: When exiting, please watch the gap between the train and the station platform.
Older woman: Why don't they just fix the gap? Then they wouldn't have to bother saying that.

--LIRR

Overheard by: glad I don't live in LI