Restaurant patron: Wait, you are telling me you never wake up in the middle of the night and think you’re still in jail? –Mottsu Soho Overheard by: J Guy on cell: I’ll be there in a few hours. No! Just wait! I mean can you please just not sleep all day again for three seconds? –Canal St Hobo: Sorry to disturb y’all! If you look at me closely, you will see some red marks. I was sleeping on the ground for a couple of days and I did not know that if you smell like food, those big rats will bite you. –B Train Overheard by: Jamie Paquette Guy on cell: Hi. I’m just calling to say . . . ummm . . . I feel really bad about how things are going, how things have been. I don’t know if you got any sleep last night. I know I didn’t. But I guess I turned it to my best advantage, because I just gave the most amazing lecture. I talked for two and a half hours! So I guess I’m not totally useless to everyone. –Chelsea Station Post Office Anorexic dancer: Yeah, but I can’t wake up without toilet paper.
Friend: …..
Anorexic dancer: It makes sense to me. –Meredith Wilson Residence Hall, Juilliard School Overheard by: cherry Patron to bartender: I mean, I sleep till 3 p.m., but that’s because I drink and do coke all the time. . . . I guess they do too! –Barracuda