Father-of-the-year: My son. He came home with a swollen eye. I asked him why and he said another boy hit him. I asked him if he hit him back and he said, ‘No.’ I asked him why and he said, ‘Because that would hurt him.’ So I said, ‘He’s hurting you, isn’t he?’ So I told him to hit him back. That’s how the world is. Do you think when he starts going to school he’ll catch on?

–53rd & 6th


Hard hat meathead: Hey man, I haven’t seen you since that time you hit that guy in the face with a wrench!

–LIRR – Long Beach to Penn Station


Evander Childs graduate: Oh, you went to Spellman? I think I beat up a kid from Spellman.

–125th & Lenox


Angry man on cell: Tell her that if she walks in the wrong direction again, I am going to punch her in the fucking face!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Marissa


Guy: Dude, I’ve totally had girls ask me to give them bloody noses before sex.

–5th St between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: MMS


Girl: There were these spiders on her so the guy she was with gave her a good beating all over.

–1 train

Overheard by: arachnophile