Straight guy: I need to change my hair. Four out of five girls with that bachelorette party last night thought I was gay.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Phil


Guy: Listen, it’s not hair replacement. It’s a system.

–Sterling & 7th, Park Slope

Overheard by: A White Bear


White guy: Yeah, and I ripped out her weave.. it was awesome!

–14th & 5th

Overheard by: Amelia D


Hobo: All Democrats must have pink hair, by mandate of the homeless Republican!

–12th & 6th

Overheard by: theNJl


Ghetto girl: She wanted to charge me $400 for my hair. She was gonna charge me by the pound! Who charges for hair by the pound? I could get my homegirl to do it for $20. Never buy your hair from someone in the ‘hood!

–5 train, 125th St

Overheard by: La Liz


Bald queer: Oh, now I have to do my hair again. It’s so difficult to keep my hands out of it!

–Elevator, 1250 Broadway