Another Round of Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.

--Central Park

Overheard by: sarah

Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.

--NJ Transit

Overheard by: Date Rape

Smooth operator: Don't worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.

--Subway

Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.

--51st St & Broadway

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs... But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs... and viagra...

--Union Square, uptown 6 train

Guy: Dude, I can't get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.

--Outside Columbia dorm

Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I'm going to the wine bar.

--68th St & York