She Only Feels Well in Even-Numbered Years

Mourner: Hi, I haven't seen you in a long time! How's your mother?
Priest: She's okay. She won't be coming today because she's not feeling well. She just turned 95.
Mourner: 95! She's that old? Holy crap!

-- Funeral Home, Rockaway Blvd, Queens

Overheard by: Les Izzmore