Middle-aged man at Metrocard machine to MTA booth employee: You know these things don’t work, right? I mean, you know they don’t work? [Employee ignores him] Hey, do you care? –Grand Central MTA lady on loudspeaker: [Stops singing loudly] What? No, the speaker’s not on. You can hear me? But it’s not on. Huh? You can hear me, too? Damn. –Union Street Station, Park Slope Overheard by: Just wanna wait in peace MTA guy with microphone: Please keep your eyes open — there is a large rat running around on the platform. Please keep your eyes open — large rat — very large. –V Station, 51st St Overheard by: Ethan MTA lady talking to no one visible: You one-armed nuisance! You are really getting on my nerves! –In front of Staten Island Ferry, Staten Island Overheard by: Jackie Happy hour queen ascending subway steps: Did you know all these spots are gum? This entire subway station is constructed of chewing gum! –Subway station, 14th & 7th Overheard by: wish i had a drink too Disgruntled man: Who needs terrorists when you have the MTA? –Penn Station Overheard by: Alice