Man: ‘Cause I’m like, ‘Seven a.m. is too fuckin’ early for Jesus — too fuckin’ early.’ –Union Square station Overheard by: DM Cook Caribbean woman pacing back and forth on crowded subway: Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen, Jesus is coming! Jesus is on the number two train tonight! Repent! Repent! Jesus is coming and he’s on the number two train tonight. Repent for your sins! Jesus died for you — for men, women, lesbians, gays… –Uptown 2 train from 72nd St Overheard by: pimnana Drunk student: So, she said that Jesus loves you and died for your sins and made the Statue of Liberty disappear, or something. –Uptown 2 train from 66th St Overheard by: Avatarded Homeless man on subway speaker: I am the lord, Jesus Christ. He is everywhere, including on this train… Give Jesus money and food or else hell will come down. [As police approach] Fuck off the lord, nigga. –1 train, 168th St Girl to friend: You know what? You need Jesus. You need Jesus! –John Jay College Overheard by: Scott Woman successfully holding many paper towel rolls in hands and an open umbrella between her chin and shoulder: I am Jesus now. –109 & Broadway Overheard by: trying to stay dry