Teen boy tourist #1: Okay, finally we’re on the damn train.
Teen boy tourist #2: Yeah, for real. Take forever, god!
Teen boy tourist #1: Hey, you know, those people lied to us! They said we can take the N, but this one is going to 14th Street, too. I read the map.
Teen boy tourist #2: Why did they lie to us?
Teen boy tourist #1: Probably because we were acting like such tourists. That’s probably what they do, just stand in the subway waiting to prey on confused tourist kids.
Teen boy tourist #2: We should get some iPods. That would fix it.
Teen boy tourist #1: Why would that fix it?
Teen boy tourist #2: Look around. I count five people on this train with iPods. They make you look ‘New York.’ –Downtown W train Overheard by: The N would have gotten you there faster… Headline by: Sean Boudreau Runners-Up: · “But the fold up maps make us look like we’re from Jersey.” – Jeff · “For every ipod in the subway, apple kills a tourist” – monkey · “Know What Else Is Authentic? Gunshot Wounds” – J.M. Berger · “Losing The “God Hates Fags” Shirts Would Also Help” – miss c · “New York: Uhh, Lose Ten Pounds, Convert to Judaism, and Maybe We’ll Talk” – salute deez nuts · “Nobody tell them about the secret handshake” – Destroyer · “Sure, you can buy the ipod, but the disaffected stare can only be acquired from years of indifference” – morgz · “That look isn’t new york, it’s contempt” – squirrel · “You can keep them in your fanny packs” – jh
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