Woman on cell: Well, her profile says ‘In a relationship,’ so she has no excuse to be fucking everyone else’s boyfriends!

–The Bagel House, 39th St & Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Louie

Guy: Hey, I’ll give you my ex-girlfriend if you’ll take her.

–1st St & Ave A

Overheard by: apples

Fag hag: Anderson Cooper is so gorgeous. I want to be his boyfriend.

–1 train

Overheard by: Allisa

Ghetto babe: She kicked the shit out of three or four boyfriends. She’s not gettin’ another. What’s she gonna do? Call him up, kick the shit out of him, get herself locked up again?

–Penn Station

Girl on cell: I might break up with my boyfriend because he wants to get a monkey.

–59th & Lex

Overheard by: Matt

Bimbette: Do you think the reason I can’t get a boyfriend is because I never re-post those things on MySpace?!

–LaGuardia airport

Little girl: I don’t have a boyfriend right now. Sometimes it’s better not to be in a relationship.

–72nd St & York