Wednesday One-Liners Star in a Revival of Dreamcoat

Man: Tonight we'll go to the Polish restaurant, or we'll go see Spamalot. Either way, we need the laughs.

--Elevator, 250 West 57th St

Four-year-old standing and pointing as Gaston is about to stab the Beast: Nooo! Stop that!

--Lunt-Fontanne Theatre

White chick: I'm entirely too white for this show. That, or too Canadian. They spell 'color' without a 'u'!

--The Color Purple, Broadway Theatre

Guy on cell: I'm at Marie's Crisis. Yeah, everyone at the party was ugly, and so I left, and I figured if I'm gonna hang out with ugly people, I might as well sing showtunes.

--Marie's Crisis piano bar, 50 Grove St

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Small child during Tarzan: He's dead 'cause he got shot.

--Richard Rodgers Theater, 45th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Adam

Black 40-something lady passing theatre: Ain't dis a play o' somethin'?

--Outside Nederlander Theatre on 41st St

Overheard by: A-Mo