Wednesday One-Liners Get the Door Prize

Conductor: All doors are created equal. Please use all available doors.

--4 train

Overheard by: Maggie

Conductor, at 34th St: Stand clear of the closing doors, please. [At 42nd St] Yo, stand clear the doors. [At 50th St] Yo, stand clear the bloody doors. [At 7th Ave] Yo, I ain't playin'! Stand clear the fuckin' doors!

--E train

Conductor: Listen, folks. I'm paid by the hour, so I can wait here all day. But if you want to get home, please get those idiots blocking the doors the hell inside the car. Thank you.

--3 train

Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is High Street. The next stop is Broadway-Nassau. Stand clear of the closing doors. You the maaan!

--C train

Overheard by: The Man

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, doors don't hold people! People hold doors.

--R train

Conductor to woman who jammed her stroller into the subway doors: That was unbelievable. You are unbelievable. You just used a baby to hold open the doors.

--3 train, 14th St

Overheard by: clarence rosario