Chick: …And then when the naked girl got in the balloon I was so scared I thought I would die!

–1 train

Overheard by: Michael Schiano

Dude: It’s like, as soon as you step into a room and take off your pants, all hell breaks loose!

–Allen & Stanton

Overheard by: Griffin

Dude: I swear, like, everyone on this block has seen me naked.

–Outside Rubin Hall, NYU

Overheard by: Josh

Little girl: Look! The nakeds! They’re naked!

–Greek sculpture wing, the Met

Chick on cell: I mean, if I’m going to send my friends footage of me doing topless jumping jacks, I want it to be remembered.

–Harlem

Suit on cell: You wanna know why we’re not friends anymore? Remember the last time you came to my house? I came out of the bathroom and there you were, stretched out on my sofa, naked, playing with your dick. What the fuck was that all about?

–City Hall Park

Overheard by: Big Larry

Doctor to patient: Sir, I am going to prescribe you two things — some burn cream for, well, you know, and some advice: try not to cook without your pants on.

–Beth Israel Hospital Emergency Room