Boy: Yeah, I mean, the only way that I’d be pissed is if you stabbed me… –Butler Library, Columbia University Dude: He threw a bagel at me — knocked me the fuck out! –15th St & 9th Ave Overheard by: Michael Pantozzi Guidance counselor mediating a conflict between a flock of tween girls: Okay, Yamira* can still go on the field trip, because she told the truth about punching Janalin* in the face. –PS 8, Washington Heights Little boy: Smack that, lalalala! [Smacks brother in stroller.] Smack that, lalalala! [Smacks brother again.] Smack that! Lalalala! –Macy’s Overheard by: amused sales associate Guy on cell: Yeah, after that hug I wanted to punch her. –Walgreens, Union Square