Man: I am the piano of humans.

–32nd & Lex

Overheard by: Em

Boss: You don’t want to ruin your crack-high with that harmonica racket.

–1 Madison Ave

Overheard by: KDOTU

Four-year-old holding maracas: These shakers give me speed!

–VFW Hall, Long Island

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Hipster: None of them could play their instruments or sing, and they all kept spitting on each other, but there was free beer so I was there.

–Metropolitan and Union, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Jesse

Six-year-old girl is blowing hard on a clarinet-type toy.

Mom: If you start feeling dizzy, you tell Mommy, okay?

–East Village

Overheard by: jho

Woman eating lunch: …Then they threw my father out of the Communist Party again. This time it was for refusing to play his accordion at parties.

–1300 York Ave