Drunk Yankee fan: Oh, god. I need to get to Tarrytown, and there isn’t even a fucking steering wheel on the goddamn train! –Train from Penn Station Overheard by: tourist… Automated female voice finishes announcing the stop. Toddler: This is 23rd Street — Union Square! Transfers available to the S, L, N… The S! S, L, and N trains! Stand clear of the closing doors! –6 train at 23rd St Overheard by: vic Woman to daughter: The Subway Lord might come through and kick you off. –R train Toddler quivering with fright: Oh, no, Mommy. Oh, no. Oh, dear… Oh, dear… Oh, dear. The train’s coming, Mommy. It’s coming. Oh, dear. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no! Mommy! It’s coming, Mommy! Oh, no, Mommy! Mommy! It’s coming. It’s coming! It’s coming, it’s coming! Ahhh! –6 train station, 77th St Overheard by: BJ Black guy opening engineer’s door after 15 minutes of standstill: Yo, move this shit, or I’ll drive it myself! –Canarsie-bound L train Woman wedged into middle of packed car: Just another day in paradise. –1 train, rush hour