Hemorrhoidal Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: Honey, they zapped my asshole.

--Outside Tribeca Grand Hotel

Girl to friends: There's this boy in my class, and his name is Ash-oh-lee, but it's spelled A-S-S-H-O-L-E, with an accent on the E... His mama named him Asshole!

--Bus, between 77th & 76th

Overheard by: It's a Jersey thing

Queer on cell: Tell him that if his asshole tingles, he'll know I'm near.

--Franklin & Broadway

Hobo: It doesn't take a genius to see it. He's a flaming asshole who needs to be spanked.

--Times Square

Overheard by: i wish i was a tourist sometimes

Man to friend: He's a fuckin' asshole... Even in a wheelchair he's a fuckin' asshole!

--9th St & 2nd Ave

Chick: Oh, he's much better than any other guy I've dated... He's not an asshole, he's not Type A... My only problem with him is that he's not depressed enough.

--Amore's Pizza, 14th St

Overheard by: dues