JAP: I have nothing against Australians or anything — I even made out with a few the other night — but I am not going to Outback. –Spring St Overheard by: Jason JAP on cell: And I was like, ‘Have you been in the new building yet?’ And he was like, ‘I know, it’s a maze.’ And I was like, ‘Oh my god, you Abreve, too?!’ And he was like, ‘Um, no… I mean, like, a… maze.’ –Bryant Park JAP to chihuahua trying to pee on sidewalk: Focus! Focus! –79th & Broadway Overheard by: Lisa 20-something JAP on cell: Did you call Dr. Stein* for me? Why not?! … But I don’t want to call him! Why can’t you just call him for me? I’m not calling him! … But my asshole is still bleeding! –Duane Reade, Chambers & Broadway JAP on cell: So, I met up with him, and he asked me if I was anorexic! I was like, ‘No, but thanks for noticing!’ He got all mad, though. I think his sister died of anorexia or something. Whatever, at least I know I look great. –88th & Park Overheard by: Vicksburg