Manager to resigned employee: It’s okay. If I worked here I’d be looking for another job as well.

–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope

Guy pleading into cell: Give me a break! So I have sex with one fuckin’ coworker…

–Lafayette & Spring

Overheard by: Jeff in Soho

Late-40s guy: When you get to be my age it’s hard to make the big money, to become rich. Sure, I could get a job, but that’s not me.

–Bus, Port Authority

Overheard by: How long is this bus ride?

Suit: I mean, if I’m gonna fuck a fatty it’s going to be one I don’t have to see at work on Monday.

–6 train, Astor Place

Bike messenger: I could die at any time. That’s why my job is so great. I clock in for doom.

–37th & Broadway