Wednesday One-Liners May Begin... Now

NYU student: I feel like the professor didn't scare me enough about the final exam y'know? So then, like, I didn't get nervous enough, so then I didn't study enough, so then I didn't do well on it, y'know? So, like, it's really my professor's fault, y'know?

--Korean deli, 13th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Joseph O'Connell

Cop: Yeah, the open-book exam? I passed it on appeal.

--45th & Broadway

Guy on cell: ... Fucked me, dude. Fucked me hard. Bent me over the desk and rammed a bluebook right up my ass. Sooo fuckin' hard...

--Union Square

Guy: I should have studied for this final... But the tequila was so good!

--NYU Silver Center

Student to professor during final: Do you want us to use our intelligence or follow the instructions?

--Columbia University