If You Can't 'Date' Yourself, You Might As Well Commit Suicide

Dude #1: Look at me -- I'm a hairy beast. I don't think even I could date myself.
Dude #2: Yeah, man, I don't think I could even date you -- you just wouldn't be my type.
Dude #1: That hurts, man.
Dude #2: It would be a shitty relationship, anyway.
Dude #1: ... Yeah, you're right.

--Neptune Diner

Overheard by: Nathaniel Jones