Wednesday One-Liners Fire Their Publicist

Homeless man sitting on ground holding up peeled banana: ... And now for my John Wayne Bobbit imitation... Aaauuuggghhh!

--38th & Lex

20-something girl: Oh my god! I just realized how much Darth Vader sounds like Ralph Nader!

--8th St & Broadway

Overheard by: EJ

Little boy: Oprah, save me!

--1 train

Overheard by: amused tourist

Hot Asian chick: I want to go, but do we have enough David Hasselhoff shirts to last us the whole weekend?

--140th & Broadway

Overheard by: Shringle

Guy chatting up girl: Yeah, this is a real celebrity hangout. There are probably famous people in here right now, we just don't know who they are.

--The Spotted Pig