Wednesday One-Liners Ignore the Bloody Hand

Little old lady to little old hubby: Fuck you, Dick, I am not crossing against the light! I can't do it. Fuck you!

--Houston & LaGuardia

Overheard by: Almost peed on myself from laughing

Little tourist to mom: We are jaywalking, yay!

--Outside Sak's

Overheard by: also jaywalking

Guy on cell: ... So it's fucked up, nights in the city. Everyone jaywalks, and they all wear black... Shit, good point! Blacks! ... Yeah, you get a black guy wearing black, jaywalking -- that's a perfect storm of trouble! ... I dunno, but I bet it has something to do with why insurance is so high...

--Broadway & Bleecker

Two guys cross street on 'Don't walk' signal as car is coming.

Traffic cop: Hit 'em! Hit 'em!

--35th & 5th

Overheard by: mike

Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What's the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can't they see the 'No crossing' sign? Where do they think they're going?

--Times Square

Tourist woman to crowd of pedestrians: No, don't cross! Here comes the big red hand!

--51st & 5th

Overheard by: Micaela